The stress of collecting… it’s real

Yet, as I write this, I can state without much hyperbole that collecting is stressing me out. The reason is that an item I bought off eBay hasn’t arrived as scheduled. A delayed package is common today, but in this case, it wasn’t because of a winter storm or other bad weather. Instead, it’s because the package had the wrong address, and I don’t understand how this happened.

I know the seller and have bought from him before, both via eBay and from him directly. Clearly, someone made a mistake. I know it isn’t the end of the world. Of all the worries in the world, it is minor. Still, it was the source of truly unnecessary stress and required extra effort on my part to sort out.

As it happens, I had been waiting for another package to arrive — this one an international shipment via FedEx. Communication with the shipper in Italy has been far from ideal, and I’ve been patient, having purchased via an auction in Rome many weeks earlier! Christmas came and went, and whenever I was told the package was on its way, I wanted to respond, “It’s coming and so is Christmas!” That already caused some anxiety, as I’ve had bad luck with items getting crushed. Still, all I could do was wait and hope for the best.

I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling this level of stress, angst, and even frustration when waiting for an item to arrive. We check the status, and on the day it is finally set to be delivered, we jump up at every noise that sounds like a truck, only to discover we were mistaken, so we pace, and then we wait some more.

Of course, if and when the package arrives, the stress releases. We’re not grown men (or perhaps women) for that all too brief moment; we’re like a child on Christmas Day, opening the must-have toy of the year. 

It is actually those final hours that stress me the most, and for good reason. A few years ago, I was also waiting all day for a FedEx package that required a signature to arrive. I went out for a short run and came home to find a notice that an attempt was made. The driver checked “recipient not home” on the notice.

However, my wife was very much home. So what happened?

After reviewing the doorbell camera, it turned out the driver probably didn’t want to carry the rather heavy package and dashed to our door to leave a note, then quickly left.

I did get the package later that evening at the local FedEx office, but it caused unnecessary stress. Did it taint the item? No, it didn’t. But I was robbed of the moment of joy. Going to the FedEx depot to retrieve my package didn’t give me the feeling of Christmas morning; instead, it reminded me of Christmas 1977, when, like many children, I received a cardboard “Early Bird Certificate Package” for the anticipated Star Wars figures. For those who don’t remember, Kenner only secured the licensing deal after the film became a hit and couldn’t produce the toys in time for Christmas. Most children had to wait until later that winter for their figures to arrive in the mail!

I was still excited in February when I was finally able to play with the figures. That’s something I reminded myself of while on hold with UPS, asking when I’d get my package.

It isn’t just the late packages that sap the collecting energy. Some issues are much worse. Among those is finding out that an item is a fake. Any collector who says he/she never bought a fake is either lying or in denial. We’ve all been there, and we need to see it as a learning lesson, sometimes an expensive one. However, at the moment, it is deeply painful. I have known individuals who have sworn off collecting, and not just militaria, because of it.

These are the painful experiences. Buying a fake, or being burned, as we often call it, often results in anger and depression. It is natural, as we’ve been the victims of a scam.

It is something we either need to move past or we need to give up collecting. For many of us, we can only move forward and not repeat the same mistakes. That includes buying from trusted dealers and asking friends and colleagues for their opinions. As I’ve explained in the past, we should be less concerned about missing out than about leaping too fast and making a bad purchase.

However, there are other downsides to collecting that are out of our control. I’m extremely frustrated to find that my address was incorrect, but all will be well when the package arrives intact. It is when an item is damaged that it is hard not to get angry.

More than once, items have been damaged while in transit. I have at least three sun/pith helmets sitting in my cabinets that were damaged by lazy sellers and/or careless shippers.

One box was so crushed that my heart sank before I opened it, and the damage was as bad as anticipated.

I’m not exactly in the school of thought that I’m only a “temporary caretaker of history,” but I still feel disgust that something could have survived a war and, more than 100 years later, only be damaged because someone couldn’t be bothered to use some bubble wrap and a sturdier box! 

Other aspects of collecting have left me feeling anxious. I’ve waited in the long lines at too many shows to count, and I’ve dealt with items getting stolen or broken. I’ve missed out on deals, and I’ve had arguments with other collectors over what I can only say was likely nonsensical nonsense.

But I’m still collecting, I’m still traveling to shows when I have the time, and buying these small pieces of history still gives me great pleasure. Life is stressful, and collecting is just part of life. There will be bad deals, there will be misrouted mail, items that are broken, and, sadly, items that turn out to be fakes.

By the time I finished writing this column, the box from Italy arrived. I thanked the FedEx driver, explained the problem with the UPS package, and heard the response, “I’m glad we got it right, and I hope you enjoy your package.”

That put a bigger smile on my face than actually opening the package. I may not have enjoyed the experience as much because I’m still annoyed about the minor mishap, but it was a wonderful moment anyway. I’ve sought that particular item for years, and now I have it. 

It reminded me: That is why I collect. 

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